Ene Elizabeth Adeka
Some days, I know exactly what I want with razor sharp precision, other days I have to silence the noise around me, shut down some activities or sit in silence, somewhere secluded before I can arrive at a reasonable and logical conclusion.
Imagine having to go to bed every night, wondering whether someone loves you or not, if you want to spend the rest of your life with them or not, whether true love is someone out there or what you choose to make out it. You certainly don’t deserve such torture.
It is OK to not know what you want at certain periods of your life, most times certain seasons in life come like jigsaw puzzles; you have to patiently solve or find the missing piece. What is not OK is for you to blindly go through life without some sense of direction, bearing or purpose.
The Importance Of Building Profitable Relationships
On my personal Facebook page, my friends and I always have a field day discussing the subject of relationships. This is because I have come to understand that from romance to retaining clients or building lasting friendships, everything begins and end with an understanding of relationships.
If you are stuck between two choices, what you need is a retreat not reasons as to why one choice may be better than the other. Ultimately, you are going to need strong reasons. However, don’t go looking for reasons when you are confused. This leads me exactly to the subject of defining relationships.
“Don’t go looking for reasons when you’re confused.”
Indecisiveness is a virus that kills faster than cancer. It spreads killer tentacles into every other segment of your life and strangles the air out of the windpipe of daily living. You think you just don’t know what you want from this “cute guy” until you wake up one day and realize you have absolutely no idea where you’re headed in life.
“Indecisiveness is a virus that kills faster than cancer! “
Lady, Do You Know What You Want?
What do you want? Perhaps this is what I should have asked you from the beginning. Every relationship should begin with a full realization of what you want out of it. Don’t end up an accidental side chick simply because you did not know what you wanted out of the relationship in the first place.
Questions You Should Ask Before You Enter a Relationship
1. What do I want? A meal ticket? A man with six packs and six cars packed ? A trophy husband? Or a relationship that will metamorphose into something lasting and tangible? I think you have gone past the age of dating for fun. To know what you want is a miracle, the type that happens only to women who have decided to grow up.
2.Am I really ready for this? Not everyone understands the commitment and sacrifices a relationship requires. You should not be found in such a category. Perhaps, what you need now is personal development, mental transformation or career building and not the mushy feelings you crave for.
3. Are they really ready for this? It is not enough for you to be the only ready one in a relationship. You’d be doing the work of two people. Make sure you find out and are assured beyond any iota of doubt that you are not building castles in the air with someone whose attention is elsewhere.
4. How will or has this relationship contribute(d)to my desires, goals and aspirations in life? Better to pursue your dreams alone than to fall into the hands of a person who sees no reason why you should dream big. If you can’t answer that, at least they should inspire you to become a better version of yourself.
5. Are we compatible? Religious beliefs, mindsets, perspectives and how agreeable you and your beloved are towards one another will make or mar your relationship.
6. Do we have a common goal? No matter how diverse and different your pursuits in life are, there should be a point of convergence, a point where the parallels in your relationship collide and birth something meaningful and impactful.
7. Ultimately, where is this headed? Marriage or a looooooooooong term commitment with absolutely nothing to present as evidence – like that big, shiny diamond ring you so badly want on your finger.
Of course these questions would naturally follow after you must have known beyond a shadow of doubt that they love you…if you’re not sure if they do, then you shouldn’t be thinking of asking these questions. If you’re stuck in the valley of “I don’t know what we are doing,” you should start by first asking what they want from you.
“Sustain the courage to ask awkward questions so you don’t end up in awkward situations.”
One quick question before I leave, some soul sister sent an email asking “How best can you ask a guy if he is serious about you without having to look desperate, needy or clingy?” Let’s talk, hit the comment box! Faya on!
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