By Ene ELizabeth Adeka
Are you in a long distance relationship (LDR) or preparing to enter one? Statistics show that 4 out of 5 long distance relationships (LDR) die the first year!Will yours survive the challenge?
A long distance relationship requires 10 times more trust and communication than a regular relationship.
Are you struggling with your long distance relationship? Here are the 7 dangerous things you are doing wrong and how you can avoid them.
8 Dangerous Things you are Doing Wrong in your LDR
1. Unhealthy Comparison
Be thankful for what you have. Constantly behaving like an x-ray machine when you talk to your partner will only make them feel horrible and feel like they don’t belong in your world.
Don’t talk about the new guy at work who always calls to ensure you had a great weekend or the new girl on the block with the thunder thighs. If you must, ensure you end on a note of compliment to your partner.
2. Emotional Affair with another person
If you “Netflix and “chill” with another person all the time, you are cheating on your partner. Being intimate with another person is one of the fastest ways to go down the road that leads to a breakup.
Build walls of resistance when that handsome man on your contact list chats you up or the beautiful colleague flirtatiously touches your arm during lunch break. As much as you can, keep all conversations with the opposite sex from going sexual as you may run the risk of puncturing that bubble of trust your partner has for you.
3. Letting boredom set in
Although technology can bridge the distance between you two, sometimes you may run out of things to say. You must mentor yourself into accepting that even when words become few and conversations are scarce, your partner still has you at heart.
Next, don’t limit yourself to just texting or calling them. Find creative ways of engaging them.
4. Giving too much or less time to your partner
If you can’t split your time between your partner and your life pursuits, you may have to either call off the relationship or consider putting off getting into one until you are ready to expertly manage your time.
Also if you spend the entirety of your time with them, you will eventually burn out. Find a balance or a routine. You are in a relationship but you also have a life to live and tasks to attend to.
5. Refusing to reaffirm trust
Words of affirmation are underrated in LDR. If you ever forget to do anything in your long distance relationship, don’t forget to randomly call or text to tell them how much you value the relationship and are willing to work with them to make it even better.
It’s that simple but you are too proud or stubborn to listen.
6. Unhealthy conflict resolution
How do you settle fights? Act like they didn’t happen and sit like a ticking time bomb until the next fight blows off the top of your lid?
Unhealthy conflict resolution builds resentment and ultimately wrecks your relationship. Before the separation, talk with your partner about how you can resolve conflicts in your LDR when they happen.
7. Expecting them to be perfect
Your partner represents all you have ever wished for in a person if you are willing to put in the work needed to chisel them to your idea of the perfect man or woman. However, there are certain things that may not change about them.
Before you wreck her self-esteem or damage his fragile ego, think about the things that are deal breakers for you. Can they change? Are you willing to help them work towards a change? Is a change even possible? Perfection exists but only for couples willing to work towards it.
If they are not a big deal to you, then you sure as heaven are not their best deal. If you ever feel like you are not proud of them or their achievements, if you feel ashamed identifying with them in public when the opportunity to meet present itself, please call the relationship off.
The greatest psychological need of any person is the need to feel loved, valued and appreciated. If you can’t supply that to the person you are in love with, I’m holding the door open. Go on; walk out so they can peacefully progress in life.
I advise you review your LDR and if you are guilty of any of these, apologize to them and commit to turning a new leaf. Your long distance relationship can thrive with the right motivation, commitment and effort.
I’d like to hear from you if the long distance is killing you or you are excited about it…hit the comment box! Sharing is caring…share this article to help LDR couples.