Be You, Be Valuable, Be On Faya!

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By Ene Adeka

When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.

-Diane Von Furstenberg

This morning, I had an unusual sugar rush thanks to the wonderful cake my friend, @CulinaryPaul baked and which Dàra was kind enough to send my way. I am one of those people who try as much as possible to avoid sugar because it is a migraine trigger for me. However, this was one cake even my dentist would have sank his teeth into with absolutely no regrets.

Life itself is a huge piece of cake. Eat it!

7 steps to loving yourself more

When I wrote this topic down, I had two things in mind: go online and read about self-love, tell them about the “7 steps to loving yourself more” or simply write from the heart. I chose the latter.

As a teenager, someone told me I had a big, flat nose and it stuck. I spent the remainder of my teenage days pinching my nose and hoping that someday, just like Pinocchio’s nose did mine would grow longer and my “hard work” would be rewarded with an aquiline nose.

Did it?


Then “dimples” became the new wave in town and every girl who had those two glorious depressions in her cheek was considered smashingly beautiful. So began my days of biting hard on the sides of my cheeks, hoping again that as my nose grew longer, my cheeks would produce those heavenly craters that balanced my smiles.

I never really got far with that. After a few hard tries, bleeding cheeks, stone hard disappointment and the realization of the futility of my efforts, I gave up.

“Everyone was beautiful except me,” I would tell myself.

Until one day…

Myself, please love yourself

We all have our blue days and our sunny days. In Africa, we tend to make light of depression yet there are people wallowing in it from women who are unhappy in their marriages, to women who are unhappy at their work places to girls who want to be “Lekpa Shandies” (slim) and those who want to be a size ten. Those who make the best out of their lives are people who against all odds try as much as possible not to be too hard on themselves. The boyfriend may have left you for your best friend but it doesn’t really mean she’s better than you. Shogbo?

Perhaps you are having trouble with the kids or the calories that are bound to accompany childbirth are weighing you down. You can choose to call a pity party, double up your parenting game or hit the gym with the determination of a miner digging for diamonds. Whichever way you choose to go about it, you must love yourself if you are to amount to anything.

Because you’re happy

Most unhappy people tend to spread the tentacles of their unhappiness around their environment. Whenever you are tempted to feel like a piece of thrash, be sure to find out if someone’s unhappy tentacles have latched themselves to you and shake them off.

I found my way out when I realized I had something no one else had; my intelligence and my smile. I discovered that I had a love for children, writing and anything that was excellently executed. I also realized that I had this wide smile that though looked mischievous, had the ability to break the ice.

Value is what gives you purpose and direction for your life. Discover the value in you, read about and develop your value and use it to change your world. People who are busy changing their world have no time for the lousy opinion of others. Do what makes you happy.

  • Buy a colourful ankara material for a change and sew some neck-turning style.
  • Cook some bad ass jollof rice and thank God for the gift of jollof rice.
  • Take the kids to the village and show them how their ancestors lived life.
  • Send a loved one a message today, appreciate and thank them for being good to you.
  • Pray and give thanks for all you have, for things to come yet and for the blessings on the way.

Do you have a problem identifying your unique value? Hit the comment box and tell us four things you love doing. Perhaps, we can help you identify your unique selling point.

Be you, be valuable, and be on faya girl!

Image credits: Alabi Moropeda (@morewamakeup)





  1. John Blessing Reply

    Alright let me see. I love taking photos of natural scenes, reading, traveling and meeting/making new friends. Wat can you say abt dat pls.

    • Wow! First, I would like to ask if you have any social media platform where you display your work.

      Have you heard of “Stock Photos”? With a site like pexels you can upload your pictures and watch them go viral or even sell depending on how good and unique they are. Instagram is also a very good platform as it thrives on visual contents.

      1. Taking themed photos
      2. Branding your pictures
      3. Influencer marketing

      You can also send us a couple through our email. We would be more than glad to feature them.

      Download my new eBook and check out the resource list. You will find help there too.
      Thank you Blessing! Faya on!

  2. Zeedy Enoch Reply

    Ok. I love writing, reading books, singing and being creative

    • Energie Reply

      Zeedy,you must begin to document your thoughts in constructive ways. Consider writing an e-book and check out platforms like Quora, Amazon Create Space and take free writing courses on Udemy and

  3. Happiness Nyajon Reply

    Wooow! u’ve taken self pity, depression and low self esteem from me. This is a wonderful write up ever. I celebrate u. God bless u for this.

    • admin Reply

      Hi dear! Thank you for your feedback. A depressed individual is one who has lost hope on life.

      Don’t lose hope, you have more than enough to stand out and be exceptional.

      I’d recommend that you read “An Enemy Called Average” by John Mason and begin to take serious things you love doing.

  4. Happiness Nyajon Reply

    Wooow! u’ve taken self pity, depression and low self esteem from me. This is a wonderful write up ever. I celebrate u. God bless u for this.

  5. Samuel Danazumi Jesse Reply

    Thanks for choosing the latter, Kind of more authentic and relatable. And thanks for helping us fall more in love with ourselves. Am on faya trust me

  6. I just sent a kind message to a loved one. Thanks for reminding me to be human 🙂

  7. Nonye Duru Reply

    Beautiful piece dearest Ene, very relatable
    …and inspiring.

    • admin Reply

      My Beautiful Queen! Thank you for your warm feedback. I call you “Safaya”! Faya on girl!

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