What if We Break Up?

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Break up or make up?

I have heard this question a thousand times and I know females are not ready for this conversation, but hey, its my blog. Surprise!

Me: You love him right?

Her: With my heart, wig and makeup!

Me: Okayyyy…so why are you afraid of letting people know you love him that much? Why are you hiding the fact that you are in a relationship?

Her: Our relationship is private. And then what if people know and then we break up?


The thing about love is this; like pregnancy, you cannot keep it hidden for a long time. I understand the fact that are mature enough to want to keep the gory and romantic details of your relationship away from the gram and Facebook.

But I see you girl…

I see the posts you put up, the ones with the public display of affection and the ones with babes who have got men supporting them openly.

I know once in a while you desire to wake up to a post from your man that says you are not alone in this relationship but then you’re in a private relationship.

I understand.

I know your third love language is words of affirmation especially when those flamingoes swarm around him but you’d rather not say anything about how uncomfortable you are with his dealings with the other sex because…you’re in a private relationship.

When was the last time he picked his phone and typed a  simple message: I LOVE YOU.


I understand.

I know you want to be loved and as a woman, you desire to express your own love without the fear that you’re violating the privacy policy of your relationship. GB whatsApp sometimes show us the posts you put up at such moments before you take them down. Still…

I understand.

It’s a private relationship. You cannot publicize your man.  What if you break up? What if the relationship goes South after you must have  rubbed your love life in our faces?

What if his family members do not approve of  his choice?

What if he denies you in public?

I truly understand. It’s a private relationship. My question however, is this:

Why exactly are you in a relationship that has got you thinking “What if we break up?” from the start?

I guess we’ll never know.

It’s a private question.

Here is what I want you to know:

1. You can actually celebrate the one you love and still kip the lid on the intimate affairs of your relationship.

2. It is ok to keep it private if it was a mutual decision. It is not ok if you agreed to the covenant of silence simply because he requested it and you are afraid you’ll lose him if you say your mind.

3. Public display of affection is sometimes healthy for your relationship. How many times were you on your way to shoot your shot at uncle and a beautiful picture of his madam  stopped your agenda dead in its tracks? Don’t answer. It’s not my business.

4. Yes! It is ok to want your man to wake you up with a lovely message about how you’re the world. We know you’re not the world, it’s Geography. No human being can be the entire blue planet but still…think about it.

5. Privacy does not mean fear. If the rules of privacy in that relationship makes you more afraid than happy, you will break up eventually.

6. A man who insists on keeping your relationship private, and still does not celebrate you in private is a red flag.

7. “What if we break up?” should not be an anthem in your relationship.

Where exactly do you get your high from?And before you go all, “God is my source and sustainer on me,” excuse you!

Adam said to Eve,

“Girl! You are the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. I gotta call you ‘Woman’ because honest to God, you are not a lion, elephant or fish. You look like something that was made outta me for me.”

Go read your Bible, argue with your chest and come back to this post after it ends in tears.

I forgot, you will cry in private too.

PS: Love is like the wind. Even when you cannot see it, you ought to feel it or hear it. 

Can you feel him?

I get it…it’s a private question too right?


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