By Ghozye Nelson
What is life without friends? They are the family you get to choose—they are your squad. They give you advise when you need it, provide the shoulders you cry on when you get your heart broken and call you out on your bullshit when you misbehave.
Healthy friendships usually provide a ground for us to bloom and be our best selves. However regularly involving friends can ruin your relationship. Friends can also constitute the third parties your relationship does not need.
Third parties can ruin your love life
While you love to share everything with your friends—everyone does—there should be a safe space between your friendships and your romantic relationships. Your friends shouldn’t be too involved in your relationships.
This may not create the best environment for your partner and may take you farther from your relationship goals. If your friends do more than three of these, then it may be a sign that they are ruining your relationship.
5 signs your friends are ruining your relationship
1. Compare your relationship with others: The grass is greener on the other side until you step closer and notice it’s a grass carpet.
When you talk about your relationship with your friends and discuss relationship goals, do they use other people’s relationships as a yardstick?
If they compare your relationship or the person you are dating to couples whose real situations are not known to the eyes of the public, your relationship is in danger of hitting the rocks even if they completely have your best interests at heart.
A friend should seek to help your relationship become better without unhealthy comparison
Measuring the success or failure of your relationship with the yardstick of people whose relationship conditions you don’t know is not a wise thing to do, and if your friends do that long enough, you may begin to have doubts about your partner even when there is nothing to worry about.
2. Flirt with your partner: It is a good thing if your friends are on good terms with your partner; however, there should be a limit to this friendship.
If you cannot trust your friend alone with your partner, then you are either paranoid or have seen some signs which you are not comfortable with.
It is not a crime if one of your friends develops some feelings for your partner but if they act on their feelings, and make a move at your partner, then that is a problem.
We may not be able to tell our hearts who to like, but we sure can tell our legs who to approach.
Sometimes we may flirt with people with whom we are somewhat close, but if you see a recurring flirting pattern in your friend, constantly aiming for your partner, then you may need to count your teeth with your tongue and tell yourself the truth.
3. Do not allow you spend time alone with your partner in peace: You should not stop hanging out with your friends or sever all ties with them when you are in a relationship, because they were there before the partner came into your life, and they most likely will still be there for you if the partner leaves.
However, if you have a friend who always texts or calls you when they know you are out with your partner, that may be a sign that your friends may be ruining your relationship unawares.
Every relationship needs ‘US’ time
If your friend knows that you are out with your partner and there is no emergency, but still keeps on calling you, then you may want to address that issue before it gets in the way of your relationship.
If they begin to stick around too much when you and your partner are together, then there may be a problem somewhere and you need to sniff out that rat.
4. Make fun of you in front of your partner: Your friends are those who stick up for you all the time. When you are right, they support you. When you are wrong, they call you out respectfully and point out your bullshit.
But what good friend will make you feel less of yourself, especially in the presence of your partner?
Any friendship that makes fun of you in the presence of your partner should be reviewed
If you are all mutual friends and you tease yourselves, then that may be fine. But if you notice that your friends constantly use you as a laughing stock or throw shades at you when your partner is around, review that friendship.
If they divulge information that can potentially hurt your relationship, this may ALSO be a sign of friends ruining your perfect relationship.
5. Disrespect your partner or your relationship: Your friends should respect your relationship with your partner, as much as they respect you. If they are being unnecessarily rude to your partner and unapologetic about it, you may want to look into that.
If your friends think your partner is not good enough for you and constantly rub it in your partner’s face, first ask yourself if your partner is really a loser.
If you are sure that your partner is not a loser, then you should find out what your friends are driving at when they call him/her a loser.
It is important that no friend gets comfortable with disrespecting your partner
First try to see things from their point of view, but if it turns out that their point of view is not clear enough, then it may be a sign that friends are ruining your relationship, even though they may have your best interest at heart.
Sharing is caring…if you notice your friends do any of these things, help us share this article to save a relationship. Till we come your way, faya on!