How Not to Ruin Your Relationship with this Man

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We all know that girl who got the guy we wanted and six months later, we see her motivational posts about self-love and how all men are scum. Tsssk!

After journeying over the seven mountains and crossing the fourteen seas, I have come to the conclusion that we are our own problem. Sometimes.

You can ruin your relationship with your own hands…while writing a book for a client (I write books for people by the way) I thought about all the things that I have done or almost did that almost ruined my relationship. Almost.

I decided to write a post on the blog while looking for a perfect picture on Pexels.  I ended up on my  Canva App and put together an eBook. God bless Canva!

Can I Really Destroy My Relationship?

Yes Darling, you can set fire to the rain and watch it burn and you will manage to do all of that without having to change your name to Adele.

We often do stuff that seem alright until our eyes clear after being hoodwinked and we realize that the “cool” behaviour we just exhibited earned us a title in the ex- girlfriend Hall of Fame.

You can ruin your relationship with a good man if you keep looking into your bag of faults; the one that contains the mirror you often use to compare your man and your ex.

You can ruin your relationship when you refuse to let down your guards because hey! The last time Rapunzel let down her hair, it was the witch that came climbing and not prince charming.

Ruining your relationship requires minimal effort from you Sis. All you need is just a bit of comparison sprinkled over a romance lacking vulnerability, commitment and even faithfulness and boom! Pop goes the weasel.

Some Things that Can Ruin Your Relationship
1. Romance Novels

Back when I was still a teenager, I read a lot of romance and one of the signs of a good novel was the conflict. I often could not wait to get to the point where the man/woman in the story discovers something bad about the other and it escalates into a quarrel that would then end in an epic reconciliation a.k.a happily ever after.

While those things we consumed are good for entertainment, they subconsciously programmed us to expect drama in even healthy relationships.

Little wonder men have less drama episodes than women do. They did not spend their teenage years reading about the Billionaire’s Baby or McGregor Family. Still love my Nora Roberts by the way.

2. Social Media

Social media is a double edge sword. From the Instagram couples who have a perfect timeline to the beautiful women that are screaming for the attention of the men in our lives; you and I know that we cannot keep up.

First,we do  not have that much clothes and makeup; secondly, we are saving all that energy for when we go into labour. That’s right! The ultimate push notification is when the baby comes out.

Back to my point before I drifted; believing all you see on social media is a helluva way to ruin your relationship. You see those influencer posts and stories you religiously check online, if your man does not in any way look like what she has told you a man should be, you are going to be in a whole basket of trouble with your heart.

3. You are not Over Your Ex

Do I even need to explain this one in detail? Ok! When you breakup and proceed into the DM of Mr Next so you can chill and forget about your ex, it will end in tears. You can ruin your relationship if you don’t heal from the memories of the previous one. Broken people break things! Whole people love wholeheartedly. Please tweet that!

4. Laziness

A lazy heart is the devil’s workshop. The chance that you will ruin your relationship while trying to keep up with deadlines and a workload like Mt. Everest is low. When Jill works, she has less time to fight Jack. Tweet again!

5. The Counsel of Ahitophels

In the Bible, Ahitophel was someone who gave the King a murderous advice. You see those home girls that tell you not to call him except he calls you or encourage you to keep two gentlemen on the side while you date one actively, they will soon lead you to ruin your relationship.

6. Poverty

My friend always says, “No romance without finance.” When you constantly expect a man to cater to your needs and whims, eventually he will get tired of the mentally draining and ineffective system of spending resources especially when you can’t even gift him a pair of boxers.

Lack of money can ruin your relationship. Don’t say, “I am a woman, I should be taken care of.” Get up and make yourself useful.

7. Familiarity

Butterflies don’t last forever, true. Nevertheless, who said you cannot spice things up a bit every now and then? Do it for your man.

So these are some of the things I thought about that made me put together this FREE EBOOK!Yes, you heard me: How to Not Ruin Your Relationship with this Man is FREE!!! 

Click here to download a copy and if you love it, share with your friends. I have an all-new Writing Training coming up on Zoom. Click here to register for free.



  1. Pingback: Make or Break: Sex can Make or Break your Relationship – Mike Todd – Lima's blog

  2. Wow, this resonates so much with me, more grace to your elbow. Thank you for this amazing light and piece.
    I celebrate you.

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