Insecurities: How You Can Love Yourself

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Don’t we all have them?

We are all athletes in destiny…the difference is some of us are running towards destiny while others are running away from it.

And believe me, I am not here to judge you.

I am as guilty as you a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar. My question is, now that we are all at home, forced to face our insecurities and swallow the lies we have been hiding under tons of makeup, what exactly have you done with all this time on your hands?

You Should Tell Yourself the Truth

To face your insecurities, you must stop living in denial, look yourself in the mirror and swallow the bitter truth.

You see, I am not different from you; I sometimes hide underneath layers of explanations to avoid telling myself exactly what I need to hear to get myself out of a mess.

Take for instance when I was studying Chemistry.  I knew I was going nowhere with those equations, but somehow I kept believing that perhaps I’ll love it someday.

Or this other time when I was in love with some guy who appeared and disappeared at will. I realize that all my life, I have been looking for acceptance.

When I dress, I ask like ten people if my red shoes match with the green gown. And after they must have said, “Hey! You are perfect,” I go back and collapse on the bed just so I can avoid someone out there saying “What a tramp.”

Insecurities Will Make You Love the Wrong People

One time, I tried so hard to be friends with some people because I wanted to be “socially acceptable” until we visited a place one day and when it was time to go, they all entered the same bus and I was left alone at the bus stop.

With my insecurities.

I still did not learn my lesson and so I started to write things that people wanted to hear. All the race to keep up appearances didn’t even help me lose weight. So one day you know what I did with my insecurities? I’ll tell you.

What to do with Your Insecurities

As I was saying, one day when I finally realized how depressing being a people-pleaser can be, I told myself the honest truth:

“Ene, you cannot continue swimming in the waters of insecurity.”

So I agreed I had self-esteem issues,and here is the  first thing I did.

1. Admittance

I acknowledged  that I was dealing with serious insecurities.  You must realize that this is not the best version of you, and you cannot continue like this. You are a failure now but you can always pick up the broken pieces and begin.

2. Elimination

Grow up! When you must have decided to turn your life around, don’t run off and write a post like:

 “I cannot carry you like a bag of cement when you’re holding me like a pinch of salt.”

It should be as simple as some people never hearing from you again.  I stopped putting that “Notice me please” like on their posts and stalking them on social media.

3. Self-examination

Insecurities are fueled by an awareness of areas where we don’t measure up. I identified my areas of weakness. When I fall in love with anything at all, I fall hard. Some of the things I had fallen in love with were toxic.

I had to do away with some useless habits, and even took a break off social media for a while.  I embraced my areas of strengths and I stopped comparing myself with “the woman who has got it all together.”

4. Accept God’s Opinion of Me

My greatest antidote against my insecurities  is not what I can do but what God thinks of me. Sometimes, I still cry in my room when the down-in-the-dumps moment come visiting.

At those times, I crawl to my “Book of Remembrance” to remind  myself of the names God calls me.

The apple of His eyes.

A very good thing.

A doorway of favour.

His spitting image and likeness.

A goddess.

At your worst, heaven looks down and all they see is someone loved by Love and not a woman filled with self-doubts and destructive insecurities.

Heaven  sees a goddess but most importantly, someone whose reward is God Himself. They look at you and they see God. Then they look at heaven and He’s still there. Then they look at earth again and they see Him. They are in eternal awe of this mystery; God in you, the hope of glory!

In my worst moments, I run to the one who hugs me even if I’m covered in mud.

5. Strive for Competence

A mediocre woman is a bitter woman. No matter how happy you are on the gram, no amount of makeup can save you from knowing that when stripped of all the beautiful clothes and red lipstick, you are left with nothing.

Consciously go to work on your skills until you can offer them as products or services that deserve a reward.

6. Genuinely Invest in Others

I cannot help everyone me. I find  few people by identifying my areas of relevance and I genuinely help out. Sometimes, I’m tired but I remember that I am most happy when I help and so I continue.

One way to overcome your insecurities is to be part of a community that you either grow or grows you.

7. Take a Social Media Break

Sometimes, when I cannot deal with the pressure, I take a break for a day or two just so I can remind myself to focus on the most important things.

Finally, I find time to tell myself again and again that I am not the ice cream van…I cannot make everyone happy.

You just have to find the things and people that matter to your journey in life and “die there “.

How have you been holding up in the lockdown? I wrote this article here to encourage you.



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