Intimacy In Relationships: What It Really Is

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By Iyin

No relationship can really thrive without intimacy. Intimacy is like a cord that binds relationships together and keep them standing even when things get shaky. We are naturally wired by God to crave intimacy; every single human, no matter how cold longs to be intimate with another.

Relationships between family members, friends, or a couple get better and stronger when intimacy is involved, but what really is intimacy?


Intimacy, according to the English Oxford dictionary is “a close familiarity or friendship.” Intimacy, simply put, is a state of closeness. You know that kind of closeness that makes you so comfortable with another that you can sit with that person without saying a word and feeling no pressure to do so.

It feels like your hearts just speak to each other of their own accord. It’s when the hearts of two people sing the same song and dance to the same rhythm in unity. Both hearts and lives are intertwined in such a way that unravelling them will definitely leave a few scratches behind.


5 Ways to Achieve Intimacy without Sex

Know yourself. I have come to realize that you can never fully form an intimate relationship with another when you don’t first know yourself because intimacy requires pouring out the deep things about you to another; your fears, dreams, desires, hopes and failures. It’s like mixing your life with that of another. With intimacy, previously hidden thoughts and feelings are poured out thus binding two hearts and two souls together in a tight bond.


Trust more. And then there’s the issue of trust…trust is not something that grows overnight, it takes time to build but once built can last a lifetime. Intimacy feeds on trust and cannot really grow without trust.  To be trusted, you must be willing to trust.

In trust, you believe that everything you share with this other person is kept and cherished, never to be used against you in the event that something happens. Trust is willing to risk getting hurt but believing that it won’t ever happen and on this foundation lays intimacy.


Show some vulnerability. Intimacy is never a one way thing and usually a mutual thing between two people. Take a step and show your significant other that you truly are willing to bare your soul. You must become vulnerable transparency between you. With vulnerability comes a sense of belonging. You know that this other person accepts you for who you are and this brings about a sense of belonging and feeling wanted. You know that someone somewhere really cares about you and wants to know you for you, not for what they stand to gain from it but for the joy of knowing the person that you are deep inside.


Then there’s commitment…without this, nothing can really last on the long run. Be committed to knowing each other and helping each other grow. In fact, no relationship can work without commitment, those times when something tries to get in between you two it’s commitment that pulls you back like two magnets that can’t help but be attracted to each other.


Love regardless. Many times fears creep into our hearts and holds us back from being truly intimate with another even when that craving and longing to know and love someone else like our very own souls comes up but fears are meant to be overcome. It may be hard but intimacy is worth it.


Intimacy truly is a beautiful thing and usually comes with deep love and care oozing from both parties. Intimacy is like a balm that soothes the heart when it’s in need of some love. As Erwin Raphael McManus said “Our souls crave intimacy” and we should give it that intimacy it so desires.

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Faya on!


  1. Really great piece. Loved how things were broken down .

    But, I’m not the only one who noticed “Energie” prefer Isaiah to Izaya, am I?

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