Relationship Goals: What to Do When She Orders for More than You Can Pay

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Ene Elizabeth Adeka

You are out shopping with the love of your life and your happy fingers are so ecstatic that you visit every shelf you have always wanted to pick something off. From the grocery section to the lingerie section, your hands move from one item to another, sampling, choosing, picking and ultimately dropping them off in the shopping basket where they rest among several other items. The love of your life tags along, looking unsure but you feel it’s the English Premier League games on his mind…until it is time to pay and your empty pockets say hello quite rudely.

Photography by Rotimi Ogunbaye

As couples, I hope you never find yourself in this situation but sometimes, “to be forewarned is to be forearmed.” Love is capital intensive and for quite a handful of us, it is more a language of bills than bliss. If you are in a relationship, find a way to slip this article in front of him.


There is no telling what your future self can do, best to manage the embarrassment of looking like a zombie in front of the cashier before it happens. Better still, you are a wise woman, that’s what your sixth sense is for; no need to unleash your shopaholic genes in front of the man. If however, you find yourself in this situation, do these:


7 Ways to Handle an Empty Wallet and Embarrassment in Front of the Cashier

1. Stay calm!

I repeat, stay calm. Gingerly approach the situation like you would a mad cow and remember love involves a lot of forgiveness and diplomacy. Madam, this is not the time to go on a tirade in the middle of the mall or the restaurant. What did I say about discussing finances in your relationship? Now look where disobedience landed you. Raise no voice, keep your shoulders up and as soon as you get home, click here to read “6 Important Things you should not be afraid to talk about in your relationship.”


2. Step aside

There is no use trying to calculate how much your colleague at work owes you at that point. Depending on the gravity of the situation, the cashier may probably have that “Here-comes-another-broke-ass-couple” look on her face (women and their mischief). There is no use trying to act like you are Megan Markle at this point, your prince charming won’t be coming to your rescue. Simply apologize, step aside and walk down the aisle like you forgot something but with your shopping basket or trolley tagging along. No lies about forgetting your other ATM card at home please!

3. Confront the situation together!

Let’s face it, either the both of you are broke or someone feels entitled to the other’s finances in the relationship. Whatever the case may be, you are a team until you leave the environment and you know what team members do right? Yeah! They cover for each other. In the nicest way possible, review your bank balance or the contents of your wallet or purse. If it enough to pay for what you have in the basket, join funds and save face. If no, you both can unashamedly put back the stuff you do not need and agree on a lower budget.

4. Re-order or Explain the Situation to the Waiter

For restaurants, this may be quite tricky as some restaurant policies may not allow for cancellation of orders. Now if you were nasty to the waiters when you first got in, you’d really be in hot soup; since you will have to explain the situation to them. If this is the case, you have two options; explain the situation to the male waiter or she can swallow a huge chunk of her pride and solicit for help from the female waitress. If you can however, re-order something less expensive then by all means do so and blame it on the sudden stomach upset.

5. Abort Mission: Cancel Delivery or Entire Budget

For “Pay on Delivery” order, cancel the order as soon as the delivery man rings the doorbell or you get to find out you cannot afford the item. There is no use spending to keep up appearance, you do not have the funds necessary to close the deal, man up and leave.

7. Discuss When You Get Home

Perhaps this is the hardest part of it all, you are finally home and blowing steam from your nostrils. DO NOT SWEEP THE MATTER UNDER THE CARPET!! Draw a chair and have a nice conversation about finances.  Tell him you are not the gold digger he’s beginning to think you are or explain to her in the sweetest way possible that your father is not Bill Gates and even if he were, you are not the millionaire or spendthrift she mistook you for (not in that way of course). Talk about your expectations, laugh over it, forgive each other and move on.

7. Once Bitten…

Next time you are out shopping, make sure you both have a pre-written shopping list or you agree on a budget.

Couples fail to realize how important money talks are in a relationship. Do not be afraid of bringing up financial discussions for fear of being considered a gold digger or opportunist. Most relationships fail due to money problems; not necessarily for the lack of it but majorly due improper planning or false expectations.

And dude, if you’re broke remember, you can always say, “Hey Boo…things are not looking too well this month. Do you mind if we cook something at home or better still go shopping at a more favourable time?”

You had better say yes if you are a lady reading this post. A wise woman will happily say yes…if she throws tantrums rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrun for your life. She is not your “fish”. My brother, hit the ocean for another!

Have you ever been this embarrassed or have more tips on handling money problems? Hit the comment box. Until I come your way again, faya on!


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