Set Him On “Faya”!

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By Ene Adeka


Provide the fire and watch him burn…

When Shade met Kofi, the circumstance surrounding their meeting was quite hilarious. She had just stepped out of a restaurant holding her cup of frozen yoghurt in one hand and her “Life’s Handbook” in the other. The hot African sun was doing its best to outshine nobody in particular, and as she headed for the door, Shade wondered if she made the right wardrobe choice. She quickly said a prayer for fair weather and no gusts of wind.

Two minutes later, she was by the roadside waiting for a taxi that would take her back to the office a few blocks away when nature played a fast one on her…a sudden gust of wind lifted her skirt up and with her hands occupied, Shade simply stood like the statue of liberty with no idea as to how to deal with the unruly skirt. That was when she heard his voice from behind…

“Here, let me help,” he said as he collected her cup of yoghurt and the book and mischievous Cupid shot his bow…

Not every girl gets the chance to meet “Mr. Right” in such dramatic ways, and when they eventually do, it is typical of the lady to fall back to the habit of expecting the guy to provide the fuel required to keep the relationship going. He should call at least ten times a day (well not exactly), tease the butterflies into doing a tango dance in my stomach and ultimately be the patron saint of my happiness.

Girl! Your “village witch” is right by the corner waiting for your man to give just the slightest hint of dissatisfaction and she would show you what Albert Einstein meant when he said “E=mc2.

You have to be proactive, a general rule in love states that, “If the feeling is mutual, the effort will be equal.” Hear that? Mutuality, Effort, and Equality are important in your relationship. If you want butterflies, then you must give him reasons to make them dance. Below are a few tips on how to “fan the flames.”

  Compliment him no matter how silly the new haircut looks. You can always chip in your “expert” advice later.

    Don’t act dull all the time, if he says something you don’t understand, don’t go all “say again” on him. Madam,      you have Google. You have to be smart especially if “Mr. Right” is a man of vision and purpose.

    Get a life! Read a book, cook or watch TED Talks. Don’t wait for his calls and messages all the time. He should          look forward to discussing events that happened at work or in his absence not “Baby, I missed you and waited for        your message all day.”

    Be a WOMAN, he’s already a man and has a father. He needs a female, not another father figure.

Buy him GIFTS!

Pray, compliment and confide in him.

Remember, “If the feeling is mutual, the effort will be equal.” You must be willing to be a blacksmith in your relationship so go fan the flames and “set him on faya”!

Ene Elizabeth Adeka is a freelance writer and editor with Blacksafaya follow her on twitter @Eneric24


  1. most girls miss this point, they think all a guy wants is their body, but sweetheart, guys have different needs, and sex happens to be just one amongst many. so better be ready to give more than sex or you will be ‘used and dumped’

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