The Second Chance Syndrome: 3 Basic steps to becoming a successful mom

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By Linson Abah

Last week I introduced you to the concept of The Second Chance Syndrome and its consequent effect on the life of your child (ren). If you missed it, I’ll advise you should check it out here. But if you’ve read it, then you are good and set for what I intend to share with you today.

I ended last week’s post by asking you to personally evaluate your approach to parenting. Did you? What did you find?  You can share with us privately or in the comment box.  I will also advice you to write everything you found in a personal diary, and be willing and ready to work it out. This is important because if you ask me, “What must I do to set up my child for success?” I’ll say, you have to, first and foremost, set yourself up to be a successful parent.

What parenting principles should I employ?

All over the world, there are basically no stable and acceptable guiding principles on how to be a successful parent; because as we take a trip from one culture to another we find that the concept of parenting differs. However, regardless of culture, parenting should have a common factor; which is, to nurture until maturity a child with a sense of purpose.

To this effect being a successful parent means to help your child realize and unleash his or her full potential. And keep this in mind, it is not enough to be a good parent, you must go all-out to be a successful, super parent.

How to become a successful mother

An old king who was considered the wisest man to have ever lived on earth was quoted as saying, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; by knowledge its rooms are filled with all kinds of precious and pleasing treasures” (Proverbs 24:3-4).

So, if the question on your mind right now is “How do I become a successful parent?” we bring you a royal advice. You need Wisdom! Understanding! Knowledge!


  1. KNOWLEDGE exposes you to the available options. It tells you the good and the bad of parenting. It is the first and most important phase in the preparation for parenting. Money and age do not qualify you to be a parent; you have to be mentally prepared for it. People do not often learn to be parents until they are one already.

Don’t be a typical African woman looking to get married but quite unprepared to handle the aftermaths of marriage.

Not just that, it is also often hard for African parents to adjust their style of parenting especially when they are confronted with questions. They give the “This was how our ancestors did it” excuse.

Ma, our ancestors did a lot of things the wrong way, you must not let their ancestral wrongs catch up with you and only a good parenting knowledge can give you that edge. Let’s move on.


2. WISDOM tells or shows you the best parenting option after knowledge has exposed you to the available options. It enlightens you to be the parent that brings out the best in her child.

“But Linson, there are tons of parenting books on the internet. Which do I trust or read?”

Kponkpi! Calm down dear worried mother and read on.

There’s a whole bunch of books, journals, articles, lifestyle blogs and a league of parenting counselors online. But if you were to be sincere, how many times did you visit the child counselor with your mother?

Did I hear you say “TWICE”? In Africa?

Sister, fear God!

This is why you need wisdom. Wisdom teaches you that being a control freak parent will only traumatize your child. Wisdom shows you what to discard and what to accept. And please don’t say ‘But I don’t have wisdom,’ because every human being has a measure of wisdom. The problem may be that you are not wise enough.

Well there’s a way out. Besides reading books, listening to counselors and motivational speakers, there’s something else you could do. Ask God, He promises to give anyone who is deficient in wisdom a generous supply of it. Alternatively, you could ask the oldest man in your village. The problem is he just might give you ancestral advice.


3. UNDERSTANDING shows you how to make the most of or put into action your most excellent option. It prevents you from using a nail and hammer approach to achieve or work out your best option. It teaches you to observe and probe, and to act with patience.

This is the last but most important virtue you need to be a successful parent; every other virtue that makes you a super parent anchors on it. You may possess the best parenting ideas ever, but if you don’t understand how they work you may just as well sink your own ship.

Now you have the 3 basic steps to becoming a successful parent. Remember, a good parent seeks to provide the essential needs of her child, but a successful parent goes an extra mile to help realize and unleash the full potential of her child. Next week, something bigger is coming your way but ntil then, go on and be a super mum.

I know you have questions and wise contributions. Hit the comment section and show the world what parenting arsenals you have got!

Faya on!



  1. This piece is very Educating, I wish parents Would take some minutes out of their Busy schedule to read and understand “The Second Chance Syndrome” Because its seems we are losing its Fundamentals… The basic Unit is the family, “Therefore a Successful Family is a Successful Nation”. God Bless

  2. Eberechukwu Reply

    Mmmmm nice one Linson…you know, recently the task of parenting and what I would want my child(ren) to be like has been crossing my mind even though I’m still single #winks# but the having read this piece I know I’m on the right track to being a successful mom…..
    You are en-graced sir, keep this work on and moving..
    God bless you!

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