ADULTING 101: 35 Personal Lessons My 20s Have Taught Me

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Twenty is the new thirty and thirty is the new forty…if you haven’t figured that out yet, you probably are still being spoon-fed by your parents or you simply don’t care enough about your life to prepare for the defining decades of your life.

It’s that simple.


Someone else is paying the bills, college tuition and occasionally buying you clothes hence the indifference to life you wear on your shoulders like a grand prix tournament prize handed to you stress-free.

Do You Know You Are All Grown Up Now?

I’m not your grandmother or that wise man around the street corner, so don’t even ask me why I think I am an authority on the subject matter. I am simply the girl next-door who is aware of her responsibilities.


Maybe your biggest problem is you believe you still have all the time in the world to “figure it out later.”

You don’t.


Personally, I think it’s high time you took a break off social media, gossiping, binge watching Netflix and go sit under a tree somewhere quiet and think about your life for once. No, not on your Facebook or Twitter timeline. I mean, the old fashioned way: get a book, pen and a handkerchief ((because you may shed a tear or more) and honestly review your life.


Is this how you want to feel or live ten years from now? I guess not. A friend once said to me, “The best any man can do for you is advice you. Nobody can live your life for you.”

That’s absolutely right! Best believe it…


35 Lessons My 20s Have Taught Me

There are many questions I’m yet to ask and answers I’m yet to receive concerning many things in life. Your twenties are largely some of the most difficult years of your life because you are caught between playing the victim or taking responsibility for your life.  But so far, here are 35 lessons growing up has taught me.

1. Growing up is a personal decision. Unlike birthday celebrations, nobody ever throws a ceremony to celebrate maturity. The dividends and accolades only begin to pour in when everyone else who didn’t make that decision turn to you for advice a.k.a counseling. Take a bold step, download your FREE goal setting worksheet here

2. If you are the most intelligent person in the room, you truly are in the wrong room. Pride will for a minute try to help you court foolishness by making you believe “You are the highest achiever in that group. Don’t listen…


3. The fear of embarrassment is the beginning of failure. Like the popular Nike slogan, just do it…those who mind don’t matter and those who matter won’t mind. This holds true for everything in life.

4. Your 20s are like a first draft of the rest of your life. Why wait until you are thirty for trial and error? Do it now…you’ve got time on your side to do it again, this time with better wisdom.


5. The friends who will matter in the next 20 years are accessible now. Friendship from now will require a bit of intentionality. How would you like to be ushered into their presence a few years from now? Like their sibling or the nuisance you have always been? Think about it.

6. Adulthood is a full time job; no vacation allowed. The next time you are allowed to be a baby is when you get into a relationship. And even that depends on whether they will be romantic enough to call you “baby.”

7. Your 20s are the perfect time to build winning habits. From waking up early to reading books that are good for your soul, now is the time to integrate these things into your life. You are already a late laggard…why wait longer? Click here to read our recommended books for 2019.


8. Everybody has that chapter they don’t talk about. You are not the only one who stole cookies when growing up or killed the neighbour’s cat because it ate your fish. Relax; we are all guilty of something.


9. Like pride, flat tyres and flattery, shame will get you nowhere. Don’t try to hide the rotten junk in the closet. They will eventually smell and snitch on you. Instead, seek help from mature people. See the 5 dangerous habits slowly killing you.


10. Not all that glitters is gold including people. Sometimes they are rusty irons dipped in gold dust, waiting for the right amount of weathering to expose their horrific interiors. Don’t ever be pressured into depression by someone else’s lifestyle. Be motivated, inspired and committed, which is about all you need to get the job done.


11. Stop trying to impress people without offering real value. They are not stupid; people are only loyal to what makes them happy, envious or better. You can download this free e-book to help you become a person of value.


12. Stop trying to date and actually date. You change partners like a girl changes clothes…sigh! How long before you end up with someone who will teach you how to be committed the hard way?


13. Lousy jobs are your starter kit. We all have that one friend who went straight from the womb to being a Wall Street Maestro but dear reader; lousy jobs are in the twenty-something constitution. What doesn’t make you rich initially will sure count as experience later. I worked like three jobs before I finally entered the University. Learn. Grow. Leave


14. Think long-term. From the person you are currently dating to the foods you consume daily to the friends you frolic and fellowship with constantly…will they be good for you in the next five years?

15. Family is anyone who cares enough to let you know they care. “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother,” you can argue with your faith but my Bible says so. I am thankful I come from a close-knit family. However, I also have strong ties with other people I’m not related to by blood and if truth be told, I’d grant them sibling rights if they as much as ask.


16. A university certificate is not a guarantee for the billion dollar life. I think I learnt this one early…learn a skill, register for free courses online and use the internet for something other than following celebrity gist.


17. A date is not a marriage proposal. It is simply another day on the calendar, you decide what it becomes. Don’t give them marriage benefits when they can’t even remember your middle name. Read this twice!


18. Someone will pay dearly if you keep acting stupid. That was harsh but life will not speak posh things when it’s time for you to pay your dues.


19. A plan without a timeline is a failed plan. From getting a job to getting married, you have to be time-conscious.


20. It is better to be valuable than to be liked. My pastor taught me this…Facebook likes and Twitter retweets can get you started but they aren’t enough to keep you going. You need a better game. Do they miss you enough to look for you offline or they only remember you when you are online? Think about it.

21. Comparison is unhealthy but you have to tell yourself the truth. Some of your mates are doing well because unlike you, they have embraced their responsibilities and they wake up daily to make them go away in a few years’ time.

22. Your mentors are not your friends. Do I even need to explain this?


23. Build with you in mind. The business that thrives is one that is tied to your unique selling point a.k.a USP. The world does not need another Malcolm Gladwell; it is waiting for Ene Elizabeth Adeka. Yes! Thank you…


24. Quarter-life crisis will come. One day you will wake up and feel like running away from it all. When that day comes if it hasn’t already, know that life has confirmed you an adult. Laugh and take on the challenge.

25. Your 20s are the elimination period of life. Focus on removing the “want nots,” defining the “what ifs” and preparing for the “wants yes”

26. Like responsible people, greatness does not find fault, it finds a remedy.


27. Instead of focusing on the wrong people, focus on the right person and build a life together. This is the time to choose who you want to be the mother or father of your kids. Don’t wait until you are sixty! It’s ok if you are way over your 20s, you can still make it right.


28. Money truly answers all things. The earlier you attain financial freedom, the better for all of us.

29. A relationship will not fix any of your problems. Tweet that!

30. Make a budget; look at your budget, live by your budget. Stop the random shopping spree, you are grown up now.


31. Define life before it defines you. Tweet it again!


32. When you find that one person that makes the butterflies flutter, tell them you love them like they have never heard someone say as many times as possible.

33. Be genuinely nice to people. The world is already a dark place, don’t add to the darkness.

34. Be quick to own up and defend your convictions. Men don’t respect opinions, they respect convictions.


35. God is never found accidentally. Faith, hope and love but above all, love. God is love, Love is God. Find God, get love.


These are not all…I know you probably have some to share too. Let’s meet in the comments section. Remember, sharing is caring…send this to a twenty-something year old and faya on!



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