Believe in Your Self(ie)

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You will only be as much value to others as you have been to yourself…

I was about to hit my bed for a well-deserved rest when I remembered a picture of nappy I downloaded via (by the way, if you are a blogger or you love HD and excellent free stock photos, there’s your link to greatness. I just did your homework).

Where was I? I was talking about sleep and the importance of a well-deserved rest…have you ever been so unhappy with yourself, you felt like the most foolish person on the planet? Like, do you sometimes feel all your epic failures are in the open, perhaps even on view in 3D like some Black Panther kind of movie? Wakanda life is this sef?

Let’s be real.

People, Relationships and the Current State of Your Life

How many times have you sincerely felt absolutely good about something you did or how you looked only for you to feel completely deflated moments later, perhaps due to some careless comment by an agony aunt seated beside you? Tsk!


How about toxic people? Friends with benefits, friends with strings attached, friends who map out a plan that leads you straight out of somewhere to Never Land and yet will hand over the blueprint to you like it was some ticket to Disney Land?


Oh! Then here comes the mother of them all: love! No, not the ones aired by Mexican Soap Operas or the Silhouette or Harlequin romance novels your teenage self buried herself in. Yeah! I read hundreds of them while growing up too. I am talking about love in real life, the type that dwells in the real world of choice, options and priorities; hurts your self-esteem, deflates your ego, and the type that leaves you wondering if you are good enough or just like the rest of them. Or the type that loves you to pieces. You choose.

Then it gets depressing…as the full blown adult you are, maybe fresh out of college or still in the system, you have no idea where your life is headed. Your needs are gradually exceeding the contents of your wallet yet you have zero financial intelligence. You can’t even tell a pound from a dollar, they are all “Yankee coins” as far as you are concerned.

I will stop here with the examples before you break down again. However, draw closer let’s have ourselves a real conversation about your life. For the next few irrecoverable minutes of your life, permit me to be the BFF, Bae or frank next-door-neighbour you never had.


Believe in Your Selfie…

Before I play Shrink or Saviour, you must understand that it is ok to feel all of these if not more. What we cannot accept is you wallowing in self-pity. I have quite a reputation when it comes to being frank about my emotions, failures or doubts. I have learnt the hard way that nobody will ask those questions or take important life steps for you. Decisions are yours to take!


In fact, since we have decided to be naked and unashamed, let me allow you have a glimpse into my life as I tell you that I have and am probably going through some of the things you cannot even begin to explain. Two months ago, I even went into hibernation, packed the laptop and the journals and didn’t want to do any of the things I am good at. I’ll tell you why in my next post.


Can I be brutally honest with you sweetheart?


This life, darling is a life of damning the odds, shutting out the noise that won’t let you hear yourself and ruthlessly weeding out nonsense. And that includes any and every thing or person causing you heart ache, headache or tooth ache.


The Importance of Being Your Own Cheerleader

I know you don’t feel like starting over again, yes! You just watched the scalawag you gave your heart to rip it to shreds like a piece of cloth unfit to be worn again. Perhaps you feel like something the cat rejected and the mouse dragged away, into some cold, dark and lonely hole.

Hear me, you are not alone.

When it comes to making something meaningful out of your life, the best anyone can do is tell you how much they admire, love or like you. Some good ones may venture on to pray, support or offer advice.


The real work however, begins with you. YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF FIRST!

Then believe that there is someone totally in love with you and the things you do and would move mountains to see you at the top. Find them.

Then rid yourself of the pressure society is mounting on you, yes you are growing old but so is everyone else. There is no one living life backwards.

Then remember the people you look up to, the ones who look up to you, the ones whose lives are dependent on your getting your act right and then yourself. You owe yourself every drop of success you desperately desire.

Then turn off the phone, cry, go into hiding and pray (like I do when I want to sort myself out) and then wake up the morning after determined to mow to the ground anything that stands in your way.


Are you depressed, confused or totally clueless as to where you are headed? Download our free eBook “Things We Learned: 50 Profound Lessons Guaranteed To help you…”  Hit the comment box if you have more helpful tips to save a soul today…we need each other. Together, we can  faya on!


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